It seems the recent Christmas Day arrest of actor Charlie Sheen for domestic abuse, is enough to throw people into a flurry of message board and blogotory rage. “How dare that Charlie hold a knife to that dear woman’s throat and threaten her life,” is the mantra I’ve been reading. Even on one (mentioned [ HERE ] ) where this blogger’s name and reputation have taken a steady beating for suggesting that some women should be smacked for their constant stupidity for marrying men who are known abusors. This on the heels of the fact that Charlie’s wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, has decided to drop the charges against Sheen and take him back to work on their marriage. With that, it now appears that the Aspen police are now seeking to charge Mueller with filing a false report. So what happens on that aforementioned website? They begin spewing bile my way for being what they’re calling, a female mysogynist. This despite the fact that Mueller has lawyered up to fight the charges of filing a false report and the girl was so devastated over the attack that left her so afraid and in fear of her life, she was found out and about in Aspen at a joint where Paris Hilton and Gerard Butler were seen. Seems domestic abuse isn’t what it used to be.

What particularly gets me about Brooke Mueller’s alleged assault, is that her call into the 911 dispatcher came at about 8:30 AM Christmas Day. Both Mr & Mrs. Sheen blew over the limit for alcohol consumption. At 8:30 AM in the morning, and what is worse, is that Mueller had just given birth nine months ago to twin boys. No word where the boys where at the time of the incident, but what the hell is a woman whose just given birth nine months ago doing getting herself totally wasted on the morning of what is supposed to be your twins’ first Christmas? One could easily understand Ms. Mueller’s concern if Sheen were a raging alcoholic who was going around weilding a weapon and threatening everyone in the house, but this wasn’t the case.

Police released Mueller’s 911 call where she slurs through her accusations stating, “I have to file this report,” almost as if she knows she has to set some kind of paper trail in case she wishes to divorce a guy she knew had a shakey rep with women. Then comes the news that Ms. Mueller had a prior DUI arrest back in 1996 where she was arrested for blowing over the limit and running into a sign she claimed through her drunken haze, she didn’t hit. At the time she also tested positive for Quaaludes. Does anyone still think she’s worth all this handwrining?

I’ve been called a mysogynist due to my stating that I feel that some women deserve to be smacked as actor Sean Connery stated back in the 1990s to Barbara Walters:

On this aforementioned website I linked to above, Sean’s fans are now former fans, disdainful that Sir Sean had the audacity to say this. For me it has to do with the cycle women who put up with abuse subject not only themselves to, but their children.

As most studies have noted, there is a cycle of abuse with these women is set in stone. There is the first hit, then the second, then the third. Often times it escalates to more than that in the form of rape, shooting, and sometimes death. What I have never understood about women who go through this cycle is how they don’t see it coming. There are always pre-cursors in the form of men who go buck nutty if their underwear, sweaters, socks aren’t folded right and put away in the little cubby holes in their wardrobes, or the drawers in their dressers. Often times it’s about when dinner should be on the table, and the slow weeding out of denying her the right to go anywhere without his say so. Or there is the part where he demands to know what friends she’s seeing and cutting her off from those friends. Then finally, cutting her off from her family. What I don’t get about these women is, how do they allow it to get from the first hit or the first display of psychotic behaviour? How does a woman allow that man to carry so much power, it escalates to the rest? The women I don’t understand are the ones with children. You know, the little ones who have no choice but to be there when dad is going caveman on mom. The ones that shouldn’t even be there had the woman walked away at the first signs of their man’s controlling behaviour. And like I said, there is always the pre-cursor to this behaviour. But this is the time where she should walk, not when it’s escalated to the point that both she and her children are in danger.

My feeling is, any woman who goes back for seconds from any man who’s done this, is telling the man to hit her again. It’s giving the man entitlement to abuse and debase again. What, the first time wasn’t enough? And the notion is that love will conquer all and he will change, isn’t enough. If he hit you once, he’ll hit you again. The film Sleeping with the Enemy starring Julia Roberts is the prime example of how this thing keeps going. The Patrick Bergin character is not drawn from nothing. He does exist. The neat freak who will smack her if she doesn’t keep the towels the right length on the bar, or the cans stacked properly in the cupboard. But the one thing Julia did was she got out of the situation. She left. And when Patrick’s character came after her, she did what she had to do to protect herself. We’re not living in The Burning Bed era anymore. I don’t understand why women haven’t empowered themselves to the point, these types of situations don’t keep happening.

There was a character on the NBC show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit played by the lovely Norwegian actress Connie Nielsen who was subbing for series star Mariska Hargitay who was on maternity leave at the time. The character was named Dani Beck, a former Warrant Officer who was transferred to the Sixteenth to be partnered with Det. Elliot Stabler (Christopher Meloni). In the episode Confrontation, a rapist returns to his victims’ homes to rape them again. It turns out, he is trying to get them pregnant, revisiting when they are most fertile in order to ‘seal the deal’. One woman who has become pregnant, refuses to tell her husband the baby she’s carrying might be that of her rapist. At one point, Dani confronts Elliot about the sickness of a woman who decides to have her rapist’s baby. Elliot reminds us once more of the fact his old partner, Olivia Benson, is the child of rape. Dani becomes incensed due to the fact that women have choices today Benson’s mother didn’t back when she was raped. Dani tells the victim that she should be more careful of where she goes, what she does, that no matter what is going on, she has to make sure she takes care of number one. What resulted from that episode’s airing was a systematic slamming of the character of Dani Beck to the point that women, were telling her to “shut the fuck up bitch”. Ironcially, they’d rather have the docile and sisterly type of Olivia Benson to hold their hands and stroke their hair and tell them it wasn’t their fault sooner than heed Det. Beck’s words about taking care of themselves and watching what’s going on around them. I personally, don’t understand the idea that being careful was so wrong.

Where celebrity women like Rhianna can go on Oprah and bare her soul about the abuse she suffered from Chris Brown, and Whitney Huston can relate her torturous marriage to Bobby Brown and her own drug addiction she blamed on Bobby Brown, this says one thing to woman: You are not responsible for your actions. So you can blame the guy all you want, there will always be someone there to hold your hand through it all, you need not lift a finger to help yourself, Oprah will always have a program about this and you can feel uplifted because Oprah or Tyra has helped you feel good for an hour out of your life. The reality still exists you put yourself into the situation and no one but you can get yourself out. Don’t let the second time be a third, or a fourth.

What also gets me about this particular message board and the hive mind that constitutes its posters, is the other side of this board’s purpose. It houses various message boards on Soap Operas, including the continually repulsive former jewel in ABC’s daytime crown, General Hospital. The show has become what has been dubbed in soapdom as Mob Central due to its reliance on underworld boss Sonny Corinthos (played by Maurice Benard) and his main muscle Jason Morgan (Steve Burton) as the main focus. Sonny and Jason’s exploits include fathering many children from their different conquests, and abusing the women around them. Sonny in particular. was infamous for throwing a full glass of water at his then pregnant wife, Carly (then played by Tamara Braun) and this man is considered a hero for women. That to me just smells of fucked up. He then accused Carly of having a secret tryst with another man, his rival Lorenzo Alcazar (Ted King) and flagrantly flaunting it out in the open. Of course, Carly couldn’t question him or argue with him. Her voice was lost in it all, only his rantings and ravings were allowed voice. His feelings of betrayal and hurt. His rantings are too much, he drives the nine month pregnant Carly out into a stormy night to a house outside of the city of Port Charles where Carly trips down some stairs and goes into premature labour. When Alcazar arrives to help her deliver the baby, Sonny also arrives hearing Carly screaming from inside. Instead of entering to see what is going on, he busts in seeing Alcazar and fires a gun, the bullet doing what all single bullets do, goes through Alcazar and lodges into Carly’s cranium. Before she lapses into a coma, Carly delivers her baby into Sonny’s arms. Then after Carly awakens from her coma weeks later and due to the fact she’s fighting feelings for Alcazar, Sonny files for and wins sole custody of their sons Michael and the now named infant Morgan. Only under Robert Guza Jr.’s poison pen are men like this considered heroes, and women non entities. Is it any wonder?

How does this all relate back to Ms. Mueller? Plenty. This notion that this woman is the vicitm of a nasty piece of work named Charlie Sheen is nonsense. Was she truly in danger for her life so much, that she was seen smiling a couple days later after this horrific attack? Not likely. The only ones in danger are those of us who have to hear about this incident and be told that the Sheens are a loving couple who want to work on their marriage. It doesn’t even pass the gag test. It’s not like there wasn’t any warning of Sheen’s behaviour. His nasty divorce from F-Lister actress Denise Richards should have been ample warning to Ms. Mueller. And not anymore than one year into the marriage, Ms. Mueller becomes pregnant with twin boys. Then on this message board, or Bored Hausfraus Central and co-dependent aholics, I’m told that I’m a whole whack of sick for taking the man’s side in it all after I explained that there might be something else to the story, and that Sheen might not have done it. Well lo and behold, there is something more to the story. Namely, Ms. Mueller’s past addiction and DUI. Should that matter to this story? Certainly. It shows prior behaviour and shows she tried to get out of the DUI arrest.

Another interesting turn on this message board I’ve named above, is this notion that men are seemingly always the aggressors. By virtue of their body weight and size, they are able to overtake an average sized woman without batting an eye. Even if this were to pass the laugh test, I mentioned that only a little while ago, it was believed a man could never ben abused or raped by a woman. As depicted on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit in the third season’s Ridicule, a male stripper files a suit against three women for rape. The ever schmuckish Det. Stabler refuses to believe a man can be set upon by three women at once, in fact, it’s a wet dream. However, ADA Alexandra Cabot (Stephanie March) decides to prosecute two of the women Pamela Adler (Paige Turco) and Amelia Chase (Diane Neal, soon to play ADA Casey Novak seasons five through nine) for the rape. Though it doesn’t result in a conviction, both are found guilty for the death of the third woman Sydney Green. But Stabler’s assertions that men are not victims of rape is just one of the reasons men are never believed. That according to one poster in particular, men cannot be raped and can never be abused by women. A man who stands an average of 5’9” at about 190 lbs cannot be overpowered by a woman about 5’3” at roughly 130 lbs. Perhaps if we were living in caveman times, this likely wouldn’t be true. But today where studies have shown that women have become progressively abusive, it belies the fact that men often times don’t report abuse. Am I saying that men are whimps? No. I’m saying that to naturally believe the woman in cases such as the Sheen schmazzle is to totally negate that women are often times the agressors. Am I taking the man’s side in this, am I taking Sheen’s side? No. And there was never a time I was on that board. I was merely stating that there was more to this story than another OJ/Nicole situation. And that was proven out by Ms. Mueller’s appearance mere days after this traumatic event. There she was, smiling and being seen at an Aspen nightspot. No where was it mentioned she had any wounds on her throat from the supposed knife attack she contended happened. Then comes the news the police are charging her with filing a false police report. Doesn’t help her story one iota.

I’ve been told I hate women. I only hate certain women who make it more difficult for others to be taken seriously. It’s in this vein that I say, some and I mean some women deserve to be smacked in order to wake them up to the things they do to themselves in the name of whatever they feel constitutes love. As one of my previous posts told, I am the survivor of rape. I was 13 at the time and the rape happened in my bedroom. My sense of safety since then has been paramount to me. Like what Dani Beck said in that episode of SVU, I take care to mark myself in my surroundings. I don’t flaunt myself conspicuously. I don’t dress provocatively, I don’t say to men, “I’m a vicitm, humiliate me and debase me.” I stay silent, under the wire so as not to bring any kind of overt attention to myself. I make sure my cell phone is charged and that people know where I am and where I’m supposed to be. I don’t go to bars because I hate them. I don’t allow my drinks to go unattended because I only drink tea and water and they’re never out of my sight. I never go to the bathroom without leaving someone there I trust to take care of my tea or water. When I’ve been in what I’ve felt is a bad situation with a man, I’ve gotten myself out of it and never repeated the behaviour. So in that, I don’t understand women who will not take care of themselves and each other and who refuse to see the flaws in the women who make false allegations against their boyfriends/lovers/husbands. Mueller is no poster child for this. She shouldn’t even be considered such, but to some, they want to herald her as some kind of banner to womanhood, paint her in the same light as Whitney Huston, Rhianna and Nicole Brown Simpson as reasons to decry my advocating on the side of caution. So far against Sheen, they’re only allegations. He’ll answer the charges in February 2010. By that time, the charges will likely be dropped and or dropped or filed against Mueller. So in the end, who is the true vicitm here? And like my defense of Roman Polanski, I will not say I’m defending Charlie Sheen, I’m only saying that he should be given the chance to tell his side of the story. Knee jerk attitudes are alright if there’s evidence to prove such charges, but so far all we have is a report of a knife being drawn and slapping. Nothing concrete. We have evidence of wounds on a throat, but we don’t know how they got there. Sheen deserves the right to be innocent before the courts, not tarred and feathered just because a bunch of nasty loopy cunts decide they want to fry one more penis for womanhoodry.